Joe’s Boat

 

We’re all in this World together. On the same 3rd Rock from the sun. Spinning in the same universe; dealing with the ins and outs, ups and downs; just trying to get by and make the world a better place - one day at a time. To be “in the same Boat” as someone implies that you’re sharing in the same circumstances. Sometimes those circumstances are unfortunate but not always. I’ve been in the same boat as friends struggling to find work and yet I wouldn’t mind being in the same boat as any millionaire with more money and more problems.

Poppa Joe had a boat.

For years, that boat was parked back behind the “House Joe Built” at 501 Riverview Drive. The old inboard, powerboat sat quietly off the channel of the Warroad River, protected by the backside of Government Island. Nestled in neatly, it was tied between the cattails and the steady dock that Joe Built. To keep it away from the Army Corps of Engineers concrete wall, Joe’s boat was secured tightly to the pine pole logs of his dock.

The boat was a nondescript lake cruiser with seating for 6 although we often filled it with more. Joe’s boat wasn’t particularly good on gas mileage nor was it very fast. It was solid. Dependable. Hard working. Functional. Reliable. Steadfast and constant.

Against the challenges of Lake of the Woods, Poppa Joe’s boat would more than suffice. It was the catalyst for generational memories. With Grandpa Joe at the helm, Great Grandma Fox barked orders and reeled in walleyes while grandkids fought over netting her fish and baiting her hook. In Joe’s Boat, Grandma Judy always had a sandwich or snack for everyone on board. If Joe wasn’t driving, Tom or Tim was at the wheel. Driving or not – Grandpa Joe was the Captain.  The quiet Captain of our family. Steadfast and constant. Dependable and Hard working.

Over the years, many relatives came and went through Warroad. Most spent some time enjoying the view from Joe’s Boat. My friends from Illinois got to experience the big lake in Joe’s Boat. My college buddies fished out of Joe’s Boat. I even reunited on the water with a Raider pal from the Marine Corps in Joe’s Boat. What was his was yours. Grandpa Joe didn’t love to fish but what he did love was seeing people happy. If he didn’t join a group on the water, he’d be there at the dock upon your return. He’d be happy to entertain a conversation about the day’s events. Joe enjoyed talking about life and telling stories. His front porch was a gathering place for many. I think he was best at listening. He was an observer and a thinker.

When Biskup left the Navy in 1959, it wasn’t long before the banker in Middle River thought that young Joe might make a good Bean Counter. Harold Heneman, the President of Security State Bank in Warroad took notice and enticed Joe into moving to Warroad and working for him. Joe built a house in Warroad; built a life and raised 5 Biskup kids. In 1984 he joined another family when he married Judy and inherited her Kirby brood. The marriage brought together two families and ensured that Judy and Joe would be busy with grandkids from then on out. In 2003, with a career in banking in the rearview mirror, Joe Biskup retired. Behind him was a legacy of being reliable and constant, steadfast, and hardworking – much like that boat of his.

After his retirement, Joe and Judy snowbirded for a while but eventually sold the boat, sold the house, sold the little white Chevy S10 and headed for Florida. They busied themselves with travel and new experiences in the Villages. Joe golfed. Judy learned how to swim. Navy reunions, weddings and the births of great-grandchildren kept the Biskups on the move. Passing through the Midwest on bi-annual family holiday loops, the mileage on their mini-van piled up right along with their frequent flyer miles. From Hayward to Montrose and North Aurora to Warroad and Roseau, they did their best to stay connected to the ones they loved. It seemed they would never slow down.

Then they had to.

The gentle, loving, caring, friendly, “kindest man you’ve ever known”, slowly lost his ability to perform daily activities. Grandpa Joe, the man who at one time that could solve a newspaper crossword puzzle in minutes, fell into cognitive decline. Dementia gradually ate at his ability to think, remember, and function. The old Bean Counter would still happily talk to anyone and regale them with tale’s from long ago- growing up in Middle River; or woodworking in his basement in the house that he built. But with every person he talked to it was like meeting them for the first time. Even amongst family he was surrounded by strangers. Sadly, he most often sat quietly.

We all learned to politely chat with him. Many times, you’d end up in the same conversation that you’d held minutes or hours earlier. Eventually Poppa Joe became less and less independent and his difficulties became a liability. He napped a lot. Judy stayed beside him and though names and memories of family and friends were no longer in there, his love for Judy remained. In sickness and in health, she became his caretaker and provider.

We struggled understanding the confusion and disorientation from the man that so many of us had counted on for guidance and wisdom. Grandpa Joe’s unfortunate circumstances were our circumstances. None of us were “in the same Boat” as Joe anymore. That hurt. Our only solace was that although he was now lost in an unfamiliar world, good Ol’ Joe was still in there. Dementia took his ability to process new information. Small, menial tasks became monumental. Grandma Judy struggled to hold it all together but through it all, one thing remained constant. Joe was just Joe.

Nobody in the same boat as him yet he remained polite and kind; genuine, caring, and gentle. Joe’s struggles continued but his failing mind didn’t compromise his unbelievable character. Joe remained quiet and observant; tender and amicable; good natured and gracious. He was still the nicest man most of us ever knew.

Maybe we’d all be a little better off if we chose to be in Joe’s Boat – be kind and caring, compassionate, and happy.          

Be like Joe.