"A few bricks shy of a load."

I haven't checked the moon phase lately but I'm most certain that we're still a ways off before the next full moon. Clearly something seismic or celestial has to be at play. Our students here at Jacobson Elementary are the barometer for their environment. When things are out of whack it resonates throughout the student body. With no full moon in sight, I can only write this off as another Freaky Friday.

Due to some data privacy issues and fear of litigation, let me just say that two separate incidents prior to 10 o'clock this morning involved a police officer and then an ambulance. Unrelated, the officer was here to assist the principal on a weapons possession issue, while the ambulance was responding to a medical emergency. I'm happy to report the young man with medical concerns was on his way to see the family doctor but not before he gave me a hug and walked out under his own power. The other fella won't be with us for a few days, as he can sit at home and think about the seriousness of what he did.

Even in all this excitement, these out of the ordinary instances aren't the best story of the day.

Our morning hallway routines prior to the first bell have recently been a focus point of the administration. Some kids have been reluctant to brave the cooling temperatures outside and have been opting to wander the hallways. The problem lies in that our supervision is outdoors. The causeways go relatively unsupervised. Kids are expected to drop off their backpacks and either head to the cafeteria or back outside to release their wiggles before starting the school day. Loitering isn't allowed.

So this morning as I weaved in and out of the knee-highs swimming through the hallway, I noticed a group of boys gathered around a backpack outside of my 4th grade colleague's door. Not paying much attention, I fired off a broad comment. Something of the likes of, "Hey Dudes, where are we supposed to be in the morning?" My presence and my question startled a few of them and their reactions peaked my interest in the contents of said backpack.

As the events of the morning unfolded, I honestly forgot about the harmless boy and his friends huddled around the hallway contraband. When I say "harmless boy", I would like to emphasize that the owner of this backpack is a simpleton at best. To say he is a few bricks shy of a load would give him some credit of actually owning a few bricks. This new boy is struggling daily to fit in. He's a crier, awkward and an interesting fella to just sit and watch sometimes.

Well, when the dust settled a bit from my weapons possession dilemma I remembered that I wanted to grab my co-worker and explore the contents of Simpleton's backpack. Leery to unzip and reach in to the world of a scatter-brained 9 year old, my partner and I pressed on. What we discovered, neither of us had anticipated.

A full sized bottle of Nexxus Conditioner. Like he took it right from the shelf in the shower or from Mom's beauty cabinet.

I was puzzled.

My co-worker connected the dots immediately and began to point and laugh.

"Kirby! Every since you and that wild hair cut of yours....all of the boys in my class want to be just like you. All they talk about is who puts what in their hair! Awwww, how sweet - he was lathering conditioner on his head because he wants to be like you!"

I'm flattered but I'd like to go on record as saying that this New Do is not achieved with a dollop of conditioner. I am a pomade man.