Devil Inside.

                                     Wanna hear a foolish yet absolutely true story???

I learned early on that the Inupiat people are WILDLY superstitious. Yet, they are oddly uber-religious too. They believe in these "Little People" that they call Inuquins. The Inuqins are dwarves that save stranded hunters or fishermen; elves that come in to the village at night and steal stuff and cause general mischief. If you’re ever in a pinch, don’t be surprised if an Inuquin shows up to help out. They’re like holdovers from ancient times and keepers of the Tundra. Only a few people claim to have seen an Inuquin but they all know about them and know somebody with a personal encounter. I find it’s better not to bring up the subject but to avoid it all together. Who am I to judge right?

As for Religion, the Episcopal Church is here in the Arctic as is the Friends Church. I’m told that the Friends Church is similar to the Mormons, like the cousins of the Mormons. Either way, every village that I’ve been to has at least one of each denominational church. Some villages have more. In July when I committed to the NWABSD, I thought I might attend Sunday services. Kivalina has one of each. The funeral in September changed those thoughts.

One of the saddest things about the presence of “belief” here is that it stands in stark contrast to much of the outward behaviors. The juxtaposition is hard for me to understand. It’s difficult to hear and see someone stumbling drunk and then notice that there’s a framed portrait of the Mother Mary in the window of their home, or to hear a kid cussing one second and then praising Jesus the next. It happens all the time. Do something bad and then ask for forgiveness because you're such a strong believer. Cuss at an adult and storm out of the classroom in a fit of rage but then go in to the hallway and blast Gospel Music. I was pleasantly surprised one night to find some of the villages most “prized” thugs are Facebook Evangelists.

So, anyway....yesterday we had a little classroom free time and a couple of boys started playing "Charlie/Charlie". I had no idea what Charlie/Charlie was or is. 

Let me explain.

On top of their desks they drew 2 "yeses" and 2 "no's" diagonally opposite of each other on a scratch piece of paper. Then they balanced two #2 pencils in the shape of a cross on that paper. When they had the attention of a few gullible girls, they asked Charlie Charlie a question....and when the pencils magically moved, the kids were all BLOWN AWAY!!!

Next thing you know, everyone in my class is balancing pencils and asking Magic 8 Ball type questions.... Ohhhhhhssss and Ahhhhhhhssss were flying. Kids were squealing like they were experiencing the second coming of Christ. These stacked pencils supposedly held the answers to the Universe.

Was I the only one that saw the 2 boys exhaling enough air to make the top pencil move? And when their breath was being watched, did nobody else see them grab the leg of the desk and move it ever so slightly so that the top pencil moved? I smiled and paid it very little attention. To me, as long as they were getting along and not breaking anything, this was a successful use of five minutes of free time.

Well, wouldn't you know it?

The Village BLEW UP on Facebook last night that Kirby had sold his soul to the Devil. He is dealing with Demons and Spirits during the school day and is leading the 4th and 5th Graders towards the Occult!

Now, those that know me can attest that I am a God Fearing Christian. I was saved and married in a Baptist Church. As a matter of fact, I just wrote a Blog about prayers of thankfulness. However, I do enjoy rocking out to Black Sabbath and have thrown the “Hook ‘Em Horns” sign in the air at my fair share of Rock Festivals. Confidently, I can assure you that I am not pushing my agenda or beliefs in everlasting life nor taste in Heavy Metal on to 9 year olds. Trust me on this one folks. I was an innocent bystander to the Charlie – Charlie game. If anything, I am guilty of letting it go on too long but to me it appeared to be helping the kids get along.

                                                          So back to the story…

 Luckily, during morning prep Miss Emma, the longest serving Naluaqmii teacher at McQueen, gave me a heads up about some village scuttlebutt surrounding Ouija Boards in my classroom and kids chanting to spirits. I immediately knew what she was talking about and began to draw a picture on my white board explaining things. I planned to nip this in the bud before we even watched CNN Student News.

And that’s what I did.

With a diagram of the crossed pencils next to a recent coloring picture we did of “Finding Nemo”, I told the children about my personal Faith in God. I told them that I pray at least twice daily because I personally believe in Jesus Christ. People believe in a lot of things.

And then I told them that they couldn’t believe everything they see.

I referred to Nemo. I saw those fish talk and I saw them pray to the Volcanic Ring of Fire…but that doesn’t mean that I believe that fish can talk.

 Nor do I believe that we should get our personal self-worth from two precariously balanced pencils. Our classroom would no longer be a place to explore the spirit world. No more deriving your future plans or professing your love for a girl based on the witchcraft of 2 Crossed Pencils. Pixar movies may be put on hold for a while too.

I erased my example and felt that my message was well received. As I was about to press play on CNN Student News, the principal magically appeared at my door. She asked if I would be willing to speak to 2 fathers who were waiting for me in her office.

Pastor Enoch had to come in this morning determined to have a word with our principal about the buzz in the village. Gary, the Maintenance Man, accompanied him. They both have children in my classroom. I shook each man’s hand as I walked in to the office and immediately put them at ease with my Adult Version of the story.

Pastor Enoch was pleased with my explanation and asked to briefly speak to my class. He said nice, supportive things of me and then went on the VHF to tell everyone in the Village to Knock It OFF!!! There are no Ouija Boards in Mr. Kirby’s Classroom!

There were a couple of kids that came to school after he made the VHF announcement. Their parents were keeping them home today because they were afraid of my possessed class. (They should see us after lunch.) Honestly.

I am sensitive enough to the cultural differences between colliding worlds. I handled this situation about as well as can be expected and am glad that a co-worker gave me a heads up. I countered this nonsense with the observation that nobody wanted to discuss my lesson on Two Digit Multiplication from yesterday or the Prepositional Phrases that we’ve been working on in Grammar. Two 4^th and 5^th grade boys were being silly with their classmates and somehow I got caught in the “Ring of Fire.”

Don’t forget your assignment boys and girls… Your essay on the combination of Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon and Alice in Wonderland is due on Friday!

Class Dismissed

Mr. Cornelius - A.K.A. : the Shadow Man