Mawage......

(Oh come on, you have to love a good reference to Princess Bride.......)

Things are going well down here below the arctic circle.

We get up, we go to work/school, we come home and leave for a sports practice or run errands or have a night at home.

Nothing out of the ordinary so far.

Except---there's someone missing.

It's an odd feeling I tell you and I'm sure many of you may be able to relate to it.

Sometimes, I'll just be doing the ordinary-daily-life things and BAM...this thought hits me outta no where.

Kirby is in Alaska.

Like, washing my hands and I look up in the mirror and BAM! There it is....Kirby is in Alaska.

Or driving the kids to school and after I drop them off, I stop at a stop sign and BAM! There it is...Kirby is in Alaska.

(Picture courtesy of Logan-can you tell how deep in thought I am?)

It's not a sad thought by any means. It's almost as if I have to remind myself where I am and how I got to this point and where the heck is my husband?!?!?!?!

Most times it makes me chuckle.  Like--what the heck just  happened to our routine. Talk about a curve ball.

Sometimes it makes me think about those couples that have been married for 40-50-60 years and then one passes away.  What is THAT like for the spouse still living? How do you spend that amount of time with someone and then suddenly they are gone....No wonder people pass away soon after their spouse dies.

Every night I look at Kirby's side of the closet and his clothes hanging there and they are still in the same order that he left them.  They are still his clothes. Sometime he'll come back and wear them again. Same with his shoes on the floor and his socks and boxers in our drawers.

Sometimes it feels like life is on pause but I know it's not because the seasons are changing and the weeks are progressing forward.

Sometimes I think our dogs love me more now that he's gone. I FINALLY get to be the Alpha.  (Just kidding Kirby-you will always be their Alpha)

All in all, there are no regrets. I enjoy the funny thought when it comes to me and I chuckle that I have to remind myself that Kirby isn't on some 3 day fishing trip.

I'm still proud of him. I'm excited to hear a
bout his new adventures--struggles and non-struggles. This experience will make him a stronger person, myself a stronger person and teach our kids that it's okay to step outside the box and go exploring.

Kirby is in Alaska.....