Can I interest you in a $1,644.00 KIRBY?

So. the missus took an anonymous phone call on Tuesday. (In the midst of supper no less) The lady on the other end offered names of  friends and spoke of multiple referrals. As I dolled out ketchup and mustard, my 'hot wife' (Subtle shout-out) gave the dimensions of our 3 bedroom/1 bath Cave to a stranger. I envisioned a cleaning lady showing up at our door and not the kind in a French Maid getup either. No - the kind that frequent the Rich and Famous to which I am not a member. As I understand it, the stranger then offered up a FREE carpet cleaning under the muse of a "new business" that must clean so many carpets in order to attain some worldly certification. 

Michele fell hook/line and sinker.

 I would be home with the two curtain climbers on Thursday evening while she shuttled Tyler to Monticello to fetch Jr. High football equipment. That would be the perfect time for our "FREE" carpet cleaning that would "only take about 45 minutes".

4:30 p.m. - the barrel chested man stepped into my house and 7:05p.m. he stepped out. It was no FREE cleaning but it was a 2 and a half hour commercial for the KIRBY Enterprise to which I also am not a member. Mr. Salesman must have thought that he had a for sure thing going, hawking KIRBY vacuums to the Kirby household. I politely listened. My children forgoed their usual 5:30 dinner routine to witness the amazing MicroFiber Filter patented by some different Kirby scientist. His machine SUCKED and put our Bissell to shame. I asked questions. The salesman broke a sweat but I am now confident that 3 foot swath of my living room is the cleanest spot in the house. 

I am proud of Minnow and Bear - their patience is a learned behavior, I'm sure. I am proud that the barrel chested man did not leave here with One Thousand Six Hundred and Forty-four of my dollars. I do however need some advice on being mean.... on being an A@@hole... on telling someone - "look Dude, I realize that the Bissell just isn't pulling it's weight, BUT come on, who raises 3 kids , works 3+ jobs, lives on Earth and can drop 16 Hundo on a Damn Vacuum cleaner? (Look folks - I can't even spell Vacuum without Spellcheck - I want 2 C's and 1 U) I have a 36 month loan on my Chevy but for God Sakes - No, I won't FINANCE a vaCC-Um cleaner. It's pushing 7:00 P.M., my kids haven't eaten yet and my carpets are clean..... thank you and good day sir!"

I wanted to - but I couldn't ...... I was just amazed with the patented MicroFiber filter to which my LOngggggg Lost Uncle Larry Kirby is the proprietor.